Back in Reality

I gave up on the drug ...
or did the drug give up on me?
It's crystal clear ...
but I'm too blind to see.
The light in me has faded away
I'm losing a little more of myself everyday.
I just want these thoughts to go away ...
so I can live up to my expectations
and have just one good day.
But the thought of the drug,
how it makes feel
these memories get stuck in my mind,
every second I'm just wasting time.
I could score a sack
and get up for a day and a half
but then what???
Deal with coming down ...
get thrown back into reality
and spiral back into the ground
I don't want that for myself
I want to be in control!!!
But the drug has taken over
Now I must pay the tole.
I lost my way in life ...
I spit on my reflection
I reach for the knife
and I beg myself to just give it a try ...
but I can't find it in me
I just gotta get my next high
and take a hit of the pipe.
I did drugs ...
or did drugs do me???

By: Mariah Dalli