Blue Devil Depression

his presence is repulsive
but he’s beautiful to me  
soothing and distressful all at once  
 
he stands before me  
arms out stretched  
urging me to take his hand  
 
and I do  
 
slowly he peels my innocent skin  
and exposes my raw flesh  
that he infects with psychosis  
 
scabs begin to form  
and he ushers me  
into his brutality  
 
he lusts upon my blemished soul  
while he fucks himself  
and reminds me  
that nothing but frantic rage lives  
among my forever stained eyes  
 
I try to cover my shame  
and make myself a shield from the fiery brimstone  
 
my hopeless screams of repentance  
echo and cloud my thoughts  
 
I beg for just one drop of mercy  
and to please kill the worms  
that feast upon my heart  
and continually gnaw through my bones  
 
my desperate pleas anger him  
and arouse him  
 
he throws me by the neck  
further into the fire  
 
he’ll never release me  
 
my pain is too pleasurable  
for both of us  
 
I am his black rose now  
and he knows  
 
this is where I thrive  
this is where I want to be  
and this is where I belong