deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bricks and mortar
Just north of Joytown
in the old village of What the fuck has happened here
the numb-skulls prepare for a build
funny little fellows
dashing about picking up the bricks
scattered around the place
poor bastards have been building the same wall
for thirty years now
knocking it down then building it up
you'd think they'd just move to a far away cave
or some isolated bomb shelter
where they could get on with being whatever it is
they want to be being
not hearing not seeing not feeling
in the old village of What the fuck has happened here
the numb-skulls prepare for a build
funny little fellows
dashing about picking up the bricks
scattered around the place
poor bastards have been building the same wall
for thirty years now
knocking it down then building it up
you'd think they'd just move to a far away cave
or some isolated bomb shelter
where they could get on with being whatever it is
they want to be being
not hearing not seeing not feeling
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 0
comments 34
reads 249
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2019 1:37am
23rd Aug 2012 7:36am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 7:42am
yeah. I have no idea what the word cute means. must be Aussie slang for awesomeness.
figured I'd try a spiritual write with a difference.
Thank's for stopping by and leaving you cuteness.
figured I'd try a spiritual write with a difference.
Thank's for stopping by and leaving you cuteness.
Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 8:00am
Aww, it's a little bundle of adorableness!
Hehe.
Seriously, I like this. Kind of sad, these fellows who are unable to move on. Mabybe a bit satirical too.
Hehe.
Seriously, I like this. Kind of sad, these fellows who are unable to move on. Mabybe a bit satirical too.
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re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 8:14am
Rachel.
I guess you could feel sad for them but I don't think sadness really entered my head when I was writing it. for me anyway it more leans towards your satirical theory or as Violet says sardonic.
Thanks for dropping in :)
I guess you could feel sad for them but I don't think sadness really entered my head when I was writing it. for me anyway it more leans towards your satirical theory or as Violet says sardonic.
Thanks for dropping in :)
Re: Bricks and mortar
Anonymous
23rd Aug 2012 8:03am
I like the playfully sardonic tone in this.. no idea if that was the intention but that's what it hits me with and it hits good! Makes me imagine a wise old bugger, sitting, observing and just shaking head at the silliness of it all.
Nice one, Mr E. (again!)
Nice one, Mr E. (again!)
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
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re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 8:22am
Violet.
hey! hope all is well. looking swell (i assume)
ah yes. there is a huge degree of sardonic-ism at work here.
I like your vision of an old bugger sitting on a hill.
delighted to see you drop in. thanks
hey! hope all is well. looking swell (i assume)
ah yes. there is a huge degree of sardonic-ism at work here.
I like your vision of an old bugger sitting on a hill.
delighted to see you drop in. thanks
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Aug 2019 1:43am
23rd Aug 2012 8:11am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 8:35am
MR A
glad to see you drop in. I think the essence of this could apply to many things. subjective I s'pose.
reading over it I can see aspects of different things/people/ events etc, so I'm curious to see what take others have on it.
Thanks for the thoughts MR A. shine on
glad to see you drop in. I think the essence of this could apply to many things. subjective I s'pose.
reading over it I can see aspects of different things/people/ events etc, so I'm curious to see what take others have on it.
Thanks for the thoughts MR A. shine on
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Aug 2019 1:43am
23rd Aug 2012 8:42am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: re: re: Re: Bricks and mortar
I'll take that as a compliment sir. it's the kind of write i strive to do a lot. My problem I think has been putting too much thought analysis into them when I write them and so giving them a kind of forced feel.
This one I done different. less thought about trying to be clever or profound.
I am happy it's working.
thanks again man!
This one I done different. less thought about trying to be clever or profound.
I am happy it's working.
thanks again man!
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:05pm
23rd Aug 2012 8:54am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 9:07am
Strider.
perhaps you are the old bugger violet was talking about. :D
delighted to have you drop by man!
perhaps you are the old bugger violet was talking about. :D
delighted to have you drop by man!
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
23rd Aug 2012 9:21am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 11:02am
Magdalena.
yeah, I liked the first stanza too. it might sound obvious when I say the poem is built around it, but that's not always the case with me. I sometimes stick the original concept anywhere it fits.
ahh them dodgy builders are everywhere, fucking EU Magdalena :D
glad you smiled , that's a good thing.
thanks lots for your visit and words.
yeah, I liked the first stanza too. it might sound obvious when I say the poem is built around it, but that's not always the case with me. I sometimes stick the original concept anywhere it fits.
ahh them dodgy builders are everywhere, fucking EU Magdalena :D
glad you smiled , that's a good thing.
thanks lots for your visit and words.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:40pm
23rd Aug 2012 3:57pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 4:50pm
Alip!
good to see you.
yeah. I Think that would be a decent message to take out of it. I wish I'd have thought of it as I was writing it ;)
Thanks for stopping by and leaving good thoughts.
shine on man!
good to see you.
yeah. I Think that would be a decent message to take out of it. I wish I'd have thought of it as I was writing it ;)
Thanks for stopping by and leaving good thoughts.
shine on man!
Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 5:49pm
The simple words of this piece have sooo much to say, but such as the world is many will not understand, that no matter how many times we build that wall it will come back down because nothing is forever, change must come. Well done.
Red
Red
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re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 6:19pm
Gypsy.
I am really enjoying what people are taking out of this poem. you have a great grasp of what's going on here.
many thanks for the dropping in and leaving your combat boot print.
I am really enjoying what people are taking out of this poem. you have a great grasp of what's going on here.
many thanks for the dropping in and leaving your combat boot print.
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2019 00:35am
23rd Aug 2012 8:31pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
Uma.
Happy you enjoyed this little offering. ahh yeah I'm rather surprised at how well it's been received.
I think that like MR A says the numerous dimensions might hold the reader nicely.
Glad you found your way here Uma, I admire your work.
shine on
Happy you enjoyed this little offering. ahh yeah I'm rather surprised at how well it's been received.
I think that like MR A says the numerous dimensions might hold the reader nicely.
Glad you found your way here Uma, I admire your work.
shine on
Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 8:40pm
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
23rd Aug 2012 10:21pm
Gigi.
did you just say you can be taken many different ways. please keep your shameless flirting off my poetry :P
glad you liked it and dropped in.
shine on !
did you just say you can be taken many different ways. please keep your shameless flirting off my poetry :P
glad you liked it and dropped in.
shine on !
Anonymous
- Edited 21st May 2018 7:36pm
24th Aug 2012 00:01am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
24th Aug 2012 4:55pm
Devlin.
I believe it's Gnomes :)
I am reluctant to go breaking this poem down,mostly because people (including yourself) are doing a god job of it as it is.
There is an element of truth in what everyone has thought so far.
Thank you for taking time to look into this offering and also for leaving your thoughts.
shine on.
I believe it's Gnomes :)
I am reluctant to go breaking this poem down,mostly because people (including yourself) are doing a god job of it as it is.
There is an element of truth in what everyone has thought so far.
Thank you for taking time to look into this offering and also for leaving your thoughts.
shine on.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 7:52pm
24th Aug 2012 2:36pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Re: Bricks and mortar
24th Aug 2012 5:02pm
Miki.
hope you are getting better.
Happy you liked and got something out of this little fellah.
thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts.
shine on.
hope you are getting better.
Happy you liked and got something out of this little fellah.
thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts.
shine on.
Re: Bricks and mortar
I love the way you write! It always keeps me captive. I agree with Miss Indie that it's cute and funny, but there is a sadness to it as well. I can't help but think that what they want to "be being" is builders. Why else would they tear the wall down again just to build it up again. Repetitive existence going no where...
The mind can turn this over several ways. Fun to get so much from this little piece.
Bravo!
The mind can turn this over several ways. Fun to get so much from this little piece.
Bravo!
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re: Re: Bricks and mortar
25th Aug 2012 9:57pm
Starling.
yeah, all good points you got there 'cept the cute one.
each time I come back here I can see different things going on within it.
Thanks for dropping by and throwing down your thoughts.
yeah, all good points you got there 'cept the cute one.
each time I come back here I can see different things going on within it.
Thanks for dropping by and throwing down your thoughts.
re: re: Re: Bricks and mortar
26th Aug 2012 5:19am
Re: Bricks and mortar
26th Aug 2012 10:00am
Re: Bricks and mortar
30th Aug 2012 9:47pm
Well, I must say that I hope one day I can have the deep insight of the world and little things that you do. It was so funny, yet in a way, sort of sad, though perhaps it wasn't sorrow, but I feel whenever I read your work, it's just something that pierces into my own mind, through what I could maybe call a soul.
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re: Re: Bricks and mortar
30th Aug 2012 11:48pm
Adele.
you are far too kind. insight is within us all, it's the putting into words that's the trick. sometimes I get lucky and find the right words.
I do believe that we can reach each other in a deep way through our words and have found that connection often here with many.
I am very grateful for your stopping by and leaving your footprint.
shine on!
you are far too kind. insight is within us all, it's the putting into words that's the trick. sometimes I get lucky and find the right words.
I do believe that we can reach each other in a deep way through our words and have found that connection often here with many.
I am very grateful for your stopping by and leaving your footprint.
shine on!
Re: Bricks and mortar
7th Oct 2012 12:32pm
I interpreted this in a scratch your head what on earth are they wasting their time for? way. It almsot felt like one of those ant farms where the characters were diddy. It also had me thinking of the doozers from some old programme which i can't remember the title of. Being the daughter of a brickie i had to read this one.
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Re: Bricks and mortar
7th Oct 2012 12:42pm
I'm almost afraid to say Doozers are the builders from Fraggle Rock and allot like what I had in mind when setting this one to the page.
fair play for the interp.
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts.
fair play for the interp.
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts.