Suppression

Thanks Strider. I appreciate you. :)

You are right. No matter how busy you try to keep yourself, or how much you try to hide from it, it still creeps up.

rachel

striaght to work.

first of all, this came as a surprise. and
also brought a meaningful smile to see you
pen another minimalist poem.

'officious screams
of acid thoughts
rain down on me

[officious is clinical. almost civil.
very wall street and lit fest. took
me some time to connect it with the
rest of the imagery in S1. just me.]

I run

transformed to a quarry
eradication my destiny
my mind a hunter

[loved the first line. quarry is
used to beautiful effect. i am torn
between 'to' and 'into'.

mind and hunter seem strangely odd. when
i am trained as a reader to expect the heart
to be a hunter, you make me pause and ponder]


I hide [yess! works well]

memory tipped arrows
a wealth of suppression
pierce my armor


[wealth. not sure. pierce is potent.
i imagine an armageddon of sorts. a
torrential onslaught. brutal. wealth
IMO might seem unclear. i might be being
dense here like so many other times.

I’m found

fields of desolation
poison my iron pulse
forced to acknowledge


I die

on first read, this is unlike your usual
flair. quite different and at times difficult.
the soul is visible thru out, the motions
familiar. i lost the train a few times, may
be the words jarred me. everything, JMHO.

thanks for the read rachel.

write on,

sumeet

Sumeet! :D
 
You are dead on with the use of officious. I kept telling myself to use a different word, but I love the sound of it. Silly I know. You are right though and I will come up with a more fitting word.  
 
"Into" is probably best, I am torn with the extra syllable, though I don't know why, I wasn't counting, just torn as well...I will ponder
 
Yes, my meaning behind the mind being the predator and the heart being the prey is this: we suppress our thoughts, so that our heart won't ache...our mind can only hold so many suppressed thoughts. So then is starts to release them, which causes our heart ache.  
Maybe I need to make that more clear somehow?
 
Wealth, yes I also almost didn't use. I wanted a word that meant a lot. I think I will change that one as well.  
 
As always, I love how you hold me accountable. I am grateful for your feedback. Thanks!
 
XxxX

EDIT: upon reflection, I think I will keep wealth, but maybe change pierce, though I like your interpretation of an internal Armageddon. Ah! The pondering that you leave me with! :D

I love how you were able to embrace the meaning of this Devlin.

I am thrilled you stopped by and left your kind words.

Thank you so much.

X

Very well written, the story reeled me in. The suspense was amazing.

Thanks Levi, I am glad that you like it. :)

Thank you so much Kitty. You are too generous. Thank you for reading, and expressing that you identify. I appreciate if very much.

XxXx

Fantastic compliment Miki, thank you so much! :)

XxX

Suppression is a fave word... to quiet or mute a voice, our own voice at times.

I thoroughly enjoy your inclusion of dynamic vocabulary.

Thanks Ken. I thoroughly enjoy you stopping by with your kind incite full words.

Thanks so much.

XxX

This definitely pierced my armor! Great use words. WOW great job!!  

Thank you so much Love Doctor. I appreciate you stopping by. ;)

XxX