The Burden I Carried

Sadness hits me in the middle of the night,
Just like the cold,
Tingling up my spine.
You never understood my point of view,
Saying 'get over it' or 'it's just a phase you're going thru'
When you don't see me is when I change,
My eyes going red,
My voice starts to ache,
You won't understand,
Till you're in my shoes,
Understand this dark depression I go thru,
It's like a monster inside my head,
Screaming things like 'you're no good' or 'you should be dead'
I suppose it'd be alright, to not be alive,
But when I put the razor to my skin,
All I do is cry,
Waking up the next morning,
Like nothings wrong.
Did you notice, the darkness that will soon fall?
Under my eyes,  are the wounds I carry,
Something you wouldn't understand because
You're just too happy.
My hearts frozen over, I feel no life.
How could someone feel life, when they're constantly burning inside?
I'll leave you a note, it'll be on the bed.
Stating several things that went on in my head,
Things like death and hate can't relate,
To the reality I've lived every single day,
"Dear Mommy, I'm sad. Didn't you know?
Daddy use to hit me and say 'She's just a clumsy ol'fool'
Did you know my only friend you killed?
That dog you shot because the barking he did pissed you off.
Did it ever occur to you,
All the words you heard weren't lies?
Like when I say 'I'd rather die' or 'No one needs me in this life'
Saying get over it, makes me go crazy,
Like the ticking of a bomb about to blow,
Only when it's finished do I feel at home,
Nothing to worry about if everything was dead.
But that's impossible because all those fantasies are inside my head.
From the daughter you thought you knew,
I'm dead in the basement, there's blood on your favorite shoes,
Isn't it sad to see someone burning in flames?
When you could have stopped all the pain in the first place?
I'm from beyond the grave, the devil you created
Because I was different and you didn't understand it.
So I bid to you this farewell,
From your happy daughter,
I hope you rot in hell,
So you understand the pain I felt."