Remember the Last Time?

   
I was working a Borscht Belt gig in The Catskills    
   
( That means playin' old folks music at Upstate New Yawk hotels frequented by my Tribe, the Tribe of Judah)  
   
I recieved a call on the pay phone from a Deep, Resonant Voiced, Solid Bodied Beauty from my past.  
   
I RAN to my 89 Celica and drove about 97 MPH down the NY Thruway straight to Harlem USA.  
   
You were rooming with two friends :an African American Man, and a European American  Woman  
   
(Gotta keep it real and consistent with these details)  
   
Anyways---we dated a few times. Once we ended up, shall we say,    
on the floor, next to the Bed you shared with your roomate,    
   
and while she was sleeping in the room,  
we did what we do best.    
   
The "doin it in the midst of a dozing roomate"    
was a first for this skinny ass  white jewish boy with glasses from Lawn Guyland  
   
...the NEXT date,    
   
the next date you knew You`d have your pad to yourself  
   
We didnt bother with any comedy club preliminary this time  
not even Lunch  
   
We just picked up a bottle of RUM, and headed straight up to your 3rd floor pad  
   
 We hung out and talked a while. You whipped out a pressbook  of your career pursuits.  
   
Let me tell you something, seeing a picture of your date hugging "Supah Freak" Rick James  
aint exactly confident foreplay for a skinny ass white jewish boy with glasses from Lawn Guyland......    
   
Somehow I got over my feelings of inadequacy  
   
and we proceeded to do what we do best,  
the VERY BEST ever!    
   
It was unbelievable. You had a tight Fro` then    
and I loved, just loved your tight Fro~  
   
While we were amidst this incedible, summer-sweaty, sensual event together,    
   
a voice called out from the street:  
   
"Yo Ronnie!!"  
   
We ignored it. Then again:  
   
"Yo Ronnie!!"  
   
We paused slightly---but continued. Then a third, loud, attention catching time:  
   
"YO RONNIE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
   
You said, "for fuck's sake, just go tell him I`m not home."  
   
So my nekkid, drenched, skinny-assed white-boy body got up to the window.    
   
I looked down and there was a heavily muscled African American Man standing on your doorstep.  
   
Somehow the Rum made me do what you told me.    
   
I stuck my Jewish nose out of that Harlem window and shouted "Ronnie ain't  home!!!"  
   
Kofi dude looked shocked and bellowed:    
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!?"  
   
All of a sudden I was bone-sober!!!!    
   
I ran to the bathroom and washed up, and let me tell you girl, I had A LOT of places to wash!  
   
I got my stuff  together, by this time you at least managed to put a robe on that hard body....  
   
( Truth be told... hardest body EVAH enountered by this Honky Homie...)  
   
I kissed you for the very last time    
   
and headed out the door. When it opened, Kofi Guy was right there.  
   
I said "How you doin man?" and then slid right past him and flew down the stairs.    
   
In my Rum/Herb/Adrenaline pumping state, I aimlessly drove down street after street,    
   
desparately trying to put plenty of distance between Kofi Man and me.    
   
All of a sudden I realized---" I'm in Harlem, half drunk, and I`m totally LOST"!