" Embracing The Walls "

'Oh' my little one so banged and bruised,
with legs split open you barely move,
feeling only his secretions as it begins to ooze...
Come to me my precious little one,
I'll hide you away, what's that you say?
I know dear the damage is done and it kills me luv
for he's not even close to being done.
Funny thing is when they sent you,
they said it was going to be fun.
Now your tongue lyes twisted,
The hours pass hoping he will miss it
As you hide in me trying to resit it.
These small walls will embrace you and cloak you in darkness
hidden from all, you will take comfort between these walls.
Awe baby girl so precious and true
you know it's only a matter of time, before they come for you.
I am your own personal sanctuary,
your place of refuge.
You will frequent me each time you've been used
with just a turn of the knob I'll let you in....
Sit down in the corner, just in case
go ahead bear a grin,
the presense of your blood will soon be rushing in.
Go ahead you deserve it,
you even brought a shiny new blade
this time that's gonna help you work it!
Beautiful ruby red blood begins to drop,
hurry now before it clots.
Just think sweetheart we've just scratched the surface,
your treasure awaits you, dig in go ahead
drag it deeper for this scar is gonna be a keeper!
Good girl, you cut in without even thinking twice
'Oh' sweetheart now that's very nice.
A surge of adreniline rushes through your own inner walls,
as you transend deeper into the call.
Like a graceful dance, body in tune
focused on the trance.
Your such a pretty girl so they say
so there be many more to dance,
for not everyone has had their chance.
I am your private keeper
and when you leave, shhh.....
it's just our little secret.
Bound within these walls only,
I shall bear witness to the call.
Let me indulge you if I may, into a glimpse of my secret window
of the soul which has never been opened before.
A personal glimpse, hmmm....
Well there's lots to say about this
and yet again it's very straight forward.
Where do we mark the 'X' ?
it's as simple as that, sound simple?
Mainly the cutting aspect of my life was a silent tool of the past,
which left me scars that will forever last.
I used to call it my silencing in the tunnel
when I would bleed out as a child.
It was my only coping skill that I had adopted into my flesh
and soul. It took me out antd eased my mind
of the sinful crimes that would forever haunt me
till the end of time.
It was a secrect that only I held a invitation for,
no one else was invited.
Seeing the cold blade cut apart my flesh,
feeling the warmth of my blood flow out became my saving.
Consumed by this, it wrapped me into a state of pure tranquility
that I had never known before.
How very comfortably numb it allowed me to be,
my own personal lullaby that played just for me.
How completely hypnotically mesmerizing
my new best friend turned out to be.
For I know it is hard to understand this type of self mutilation
and the affliction that results from this addiction that we
inflick upon ourselfs.
I suppose that's why I never talked about it before.
like a bad habit, I still giveinto the stab of it.
I wear many scars from a damaged past
but I view them now as remiders,
that I made it, I was meant to last.
I write this for me and in doing so I am in hopes to heal.
So I must part with my dear old friend, for it is time to say good bye.
I'm learning new coping skills now to get by,
for the eyes of my children beg for the try.