Can you hear me now?

A wave of slight happiness comes. This is the only time there is joy. Without this substance I am invisible, Without this I am numb to each and every feeling. Going for another something over comes. Stomach is turning, mind is whirring. becoming lost in an abyss of terrifying creaturea. Each and everyone some reason have similar features. I can recongnize them. I wish I didn't. Feeling like a lost child, tears pouring down. Back hunched over the toilet. Slowly losing it. Is this how it'll end?  Because of you I've become this. When I was a child you never heard my cries for help. Can you hear me now?