Inner pain between the lines

This is my only escape
When i have to just get away and cry or scream or just think to myself
THIS, my writing, my words, is all i have.
Everything always seems to pile up and overwhelm my mind
My sorrowful thoughts drown and murder my heart
Their screaming and arguing hits me stronger than their words do
Its hard to sleep knowing the situation is getting worse
i had You, to call in the middle of the night, but now... your calling someone else, and im still here crying being ignored.
I dont like to share my emotions with strangers, because everyone is a stranger, in some way.
I'd rather run outside and shed a million tears and drown,
than to cry on someone elses shoulder and hope they understand.
Having to wake up and fake a smile gets tiring.
I just want to scream and cry and sock the world for having such a burden on my soul.
I never write for anyones pleasure or satisfaction;
I write for myself, i write while i cry, i write to free myself, i write to escape, i write because my words are the only thing that cannot hurt me more than i can feel the hurt within the words.
Yet, as usual tomorrow ill wake up with the biggest smile, the brightest eyes, and allow my pencil to weep amongst the paper...