The Ass Crasher

   
It was something of a relief        
when the tall, drunken, young lady        
with spiky peroxide hair            
who had been foolish enough to gatecrash my party           
finally collapsed        
       
She lay semi-comatose on the bathroom floor            
burying her face in the dirty sock mountain            
with the sheer unabashed elegance of a glob of snot        
that had splattered itself to sleep            
            
All evening her unwanted attentions            
had lurched their unwelcome vibe            
from wall to wall            
but now the party worm had turned            
and the moment for revenge was ripe          
            
I would soon find out           
how this ill mannered bimbo            
took to strangers           
invading her own        
most personal of spaces            
            
Ignoring the dried spew on her chin            
I muscled off her jeans            
and peeled away some grim green knickers            
stained with fresh shart marks            
that skidded their dizzy course           
from back to front and beyond   
            
I was in luck            
her butthole seemed to be virgin territory            
maybe as yet unexplored            
although it occurred to my flinching nostrils            
that her private star sign           
was probably graced with the same unique aroma           
as Cleopatra's mummified remains            
            
So I pinched my nose        
and gave a few sharp slaps to her cheeks            
which was all it took to open things up           
A quick scrub with an old toothbrush  
I keep for polishing brass            
and she was lubed and ready to go            
still snoring blissfully            
through a haze of bourbon and beer            
            
As a last thoughtful touch            
I placed an old pillow        
from the dog's bed        
beneath her bony hips           
and crumpled one of my socks        
loosely under her tongue            
to make sure she couldn't choke            
before her own personal party        
got underway            
            
Then I invited over            
the frat boys        
who hang out next door            
they were always pumped up        
whatever the weather        
and anal cherry        
is their favorite fruit           
       
But it was getting late        
and good host that I am        
I had no wish to neglect the remainder of my guests           
so I chose to leave the boys to it            
and made my excuses before slowly shutting the door           
          
Apparently,        
she threw quite a party of her own           
They tell me even the dog from downstairs            
came up for a lick before she could leave          
although the footage on YouTube        
came out too grainy for me to be perfectly sure            
but judging by the screams        
I have no doubts at all            
that her asshole was well and truly            
creamed.