deepundergroundpoetry.com
life
i rise before dawn
i began smoking cigs
i take a piss
get a drink of water
take a shot of gin
for an eye opener
i relax
spipping beer
the rest of the day
my head feels fuzzy
i stand get dizzy
by noon
i am pissing on myself
time for speed
to reawake
fill my lungs with smoke
i get up
i fall down
can you fill my pain?
i began smoking cigs
i take a piss
get a drink of water
take a shot of gin
for an eye opener
i relax
spipping beer
the rest of the day
my head feels fuzzy
i stand get dizzy
by noon
i am pissing on myself
time for speed
to reawake
fill my lungs with smoke
i get up
i fall down
can you fill my pain?
Published 2nd Jul 2012
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jul 2012 8:38pm
Straight shooter. I interpret the ending to have an ambiguous meaning, "...can you fill my pain?" A metaphor to prescription pills or did you mean 'feel'?
4th Jul 2012 1:37am
There is a distinct difference between feel and fill. And since everything else is "correct" I am guessing he meant fill. Very nice. A good look into the head of a user.
6th Jul 2012 11:26pm
thank you all, i have 2 versons of this poem,
one ends in pain and ther other with fill, i have had a long battle with drugs and booze, years ago they didnt have all the knowledge the have today with drugs and booze problem. i have many one on drugs and drinking. i look forward to reading and enjoying you all works. peace
one ends in pain and ther other with fill, i have had a long battle with drugs and booze, years ago they didnt have all the knowledge the have today with drugs and booze problem. i have many one on drugs and drinking. i look forward to reading and enjoying you all works. peace
9th Jul 2012 8:32am
9th Jul 2012 3:33pm