Lazy lightening

Numb enough
until its not
 
Strong armed burdened
with bottled lightening
without a cork
remnants of a passion
too unfocused
to implode
a trickling time bomb
 
a leak
 
as lethargic as tarpits
with a kinetic mania
too big to be displayed
yet tugging incessantly at my inseams
 
Failed by the deities of inspiration
and apathy
I wish I had faith
just to lose it
 
To leave this ditch of utter corruption
I must dig through to the other side
of my misconceptions
my mere laziness
my ridiculous ego that hasnt had an unhobbled leg to stand on in so long that I forgot why I gave it a voice to begin with
 
I find the idea of regret
so pitifully dismal  
and just so damned unaesthetically appealing
that it is hard for me to admit
that I have so many