deepundergroundpoetry.com
Help
All the chaos
All the pain
All the confusion
And all the shame
That's put on me
As I live
And all I feel
Is the pain it gives
So help me Lord
To let it go
And leave this life
That was a show
I need a way
That's to escape
I need a away
To rid this hate
Please help me see
What's going on
And let me know
I'm not a pawn
Of this game
My life I think
To know that I
Will swim not sink
Because I need
A solid rock
To get me through
The path i walk
And what I'll do
With my life
Shall soon be
Within my sight
All the pain
All the confusion
And all the shame
That's put on me
As I live
And all I feel
Is the pain it gives
So help me Lord
To let it go
And leave this life
That was a show
I need a way
That's to escape
I need a away
To rid this hate
Please help me see
What's going on
And let me know
I'm not a pawn
Of this game
My life I think
To know that I
Will swim not sink
Because I need
A solid rock
To get me through
The path i walk
And what I'll do
With my life
Shall soon be
Within my sight
Published 24th Jun 2012
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 106
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jun 2012 10:37pm
I really like the flow of the poem. And it's really touching for me, because sometimes I really feel like this. I think everyone do. So keep up your good work, well done!
28th Jun 2012 9:55pm
1st Jul 2012 9:40pm
I need a away >>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I need a way
This theme is disjointed at the end when you seem to want a destination....to get it right some time in the future....
To get me through
The path i walk
And what I'll do
With my life
Shall soon be
Within my sight
Think about the lines that commit to a walk...... a process.... a process is not an end, since it is on going.....go there......poems don't end, they just wind down and stop for the moment.....lives too go on until they stop, but they are a process.......there is no getting there..... a way is a road that is open and ongoing..... keep the theme the same....a process without an end.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I need a way
This theme is disjointed at the end when you seem to want a destination....to get it right some time in the future....
To get me through
The path i walk
And what I'll do
With my life
Shall soon be
Within my sight
Think about the lines that commit to a walk...... a process.... a process is not an end, since it is on going.....go there......poems don't end, they just wind down and stop for the moment.....lives too go on until they stop, but they are a process.......there is no getting there..... a way is a road that is open and ongoing..... keep the theme the same....a process without an end.....
2nd Jul 2012 4:26am
I'm not saying there is an end I'm saying that what will be done with my life will be clear an objective to shoot for and to always strive for its something to keep me going not a place to end and when I reach the goal I make a new one I really enjoy the input and your thoughts but im not trying to convey an end I'm trying to convey a way to do things in my life to keep me going through the process but thank you for the advice
