Going Mad/Finding Reason

Twisting
Turning
Rising up,
I cant find the surface
When the tides are always changing
Thoughts crash like waves
My head keeps breaking the surface
The life giving oxygen escapes me
Hands pull from beneath
Dragging me towards the inky depths
To drowned among the sane ones
Moss and bits of sea weed
Crown the bored white ivory
Of safe men's skulls
I know this ship wrecks not for me
Just above I can see a glimpse of light
Through the turbulence above
Just one kick
One final lunge
To twist
To turn
To rise up
Against the waves
And see the sun
Even failure grants me breath
That one gasp that keeps me struggling
Next time I will,
Get even closer
Sometimes I could swear I see the white foam of the oceans crest Crashing against some distant shore
How can I tell when the coastline keeps changing
Distant thoughts drift a crossed my mind
Of a time before
When my feet walked on dry land
Memories or fantasy
I can no longer tell
As the water forces its way down my lungs
Even failure grants me breath
That one gasp
That keeps me struggling
Next time I will
Get a little closer