Suffering

I cut myself...today,
To see if I felt pain,
I suppose I don't,
Why I think I know,
You caused me too much pain,
For me to feel a thing,
I pierced my skin last night,
And it felt so right,
As my blood flowed out,
I never wanted to shout,
I had to sit and wait,
To see my fate,
Tonight i'll slit myself,
Just to let it out,
I will write this note,
To tell you what I won't,
That you have killed me,
Just for being so lovely,
My heart has been shoved,
All I want is love,
I have no love why,
If i'm such a "sweet" guy?