Depression

Depression. I can feel it coming up again. Entering my heart and filling it. Causing me to shine from the darkness that has found its way into my soul. Taking control of my thoughts and actions, my very being. I am no longer the person I once was. Innocent and sacred, I am now obsessed with finding the happiness I somehow lost during the past 6 years. But my tolerance is building up and I will only have to do more damage to myself in order to be fully satisfied. I have to cause myself harm just to get an illusion(ecstasy). Fake. The word itself is a disappointment. Its nice to know how much I rely on it to bring me peace. It is all in my mind and the depression and the thoughts I was running away from have only been hidden by the mirage I painted in my head. And  when I distinguish reality from fantasy my problems will come back and take me. Take me back to where I was…only this time it will be much harder to escape. Save me from myself.