Choking The Trigger

I can stay up all night
thinking that im invincable.
Unbreakable and that you
Never hurt me once.
But i seem to float
through a border of strong
and heartbreak.
Tears hid my face from the
World of judgement peering in
His face clouds her dreams now
I should just take my place
in her memories.
I can feel her touch when i dream
I awake then remember
Get this feeling of Nausea
it stays afloat until i occupy.
I cant seem to sleep
Just toss and roll in the darkness
of deep utter imagination.
I need some comfort
I need some release
before a hit the dirt nap
and drop to my knees
gun in hand, eyes swollen of tears
Barrel in the mouth, choking the trigger.