deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Snapshot Reconsidered
A man judged your life based on a snapshot.
Then he walked a hundred miles in your shoes,
and took it differently than you had.
Then he walked a hundred miles in your shoes,
and took it differently than you had.
Published 10th Feb 2010
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Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
10th Feb 2010 6:25am
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Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 1:39pm
10th Feb 2010 11:00am
<< post removed >>
11th Feb 2010 3:33am
Thank you both for your comments. No, certainly not a haiku, but I just thought, a snippet with a little proverbial twist. I'm glad you appreciated it.
4th Jan 2013 8:56pm
Yeah I like that a little proverbial twist.
I enjoy reading your poetry. Your style is saying a lot in a small amount of words. Great title. Everyone can relate to it.
I enjoy reading your poetry. Your style is saying a lot in a small amount of words. Great title. Everyone can relate to it.
4th Jan 2013 9:04pm
I agree with Jack's review here. You might find the "less preachy" in a revised last line. But still, a very good write. :)
5th Jan 2013 2:51am
Interesting. Well, thank you MaggieG and WallFlower. Hmmm...the piece ended up a little preachy, because for some reason that was my intent with the whole little piece at the time, anyway. That's what I was trying to say for some reason. I could say, in the last line, "and came back with his sentiment unchanged." Or something like that. But that's probably just as preachy, and says exactly the same thing as before. I think, probabably the only way I could actually make this piece less preachy is to get rid of it altogether, which I may or may not do.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 9:48pm
26th Jun 2014 5:42pm
<< post removed >>
28th Jun 2014 6:59am