deepundergroundpoetry.com
We the Person (Little Wing)
Sometimes, not all the time, it's like quicksand, sucking me into an abyss, and the more I struggle the less I can break free.
"In there... well we try our best not to go in there.it's dark and i swear in that space, there is no mark or trace of the lost one.
we watched him go in when the storm raged outside.we called out his name but he never returned.
we think he was tortured, his body was quartered then dumped in the corner and ceremoniously burned.
We do our best now to try stay afloat."
sometimes, not all the time, we run aground and it's then we don't dare to make a sound. in case we wake the dark one because he's the one who'll be the death of us all.
"We try. god knows we try to keep our feet on the ground
because we tried to live in the sky, and though the times were good the cost was high.
We've now found another mouth to feed."
Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity.
"In there... well we try our best not to go in there.it's dark and i swear in that space, there is no mark or trace of the lost one.
we watched him go in when the storm raged outside.we called out his name but he never returned.
we think he was tortured, his body was quartered then dumped in the corner and ceremoniously burned.
We do our best now to try stay afloat."
sometimes, not all the time, we run aground and it's then we don't dare to make a sound. in case we wake the dark one because he's the one who'll be the death of us all.
"We try. god knows we try to keep our feet on the ground
because we tried to live in the sky, and though the times were good the cost was high.
We've now found another mouth to feed."
Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity.
Written by
lepperochan
(CraicDealer)
Published 10th Apr 2012
| Edited 2nd Aug 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 0
comments 27
reads 248
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 20th Oct 2019 11:35pm
10th Apr 2012 9:11pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Deep
10th Apr 2012 11:48pm
Wow
10th Apr 2012 9:51pm
"Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity."
I love this line. Well done.
I love this line. Well done.
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re: Wow
10th Apr 2012 11:50pm
A bit like....
10th Apr 2012 9:58pm
Clock element (Tick Tock), reminds me a bit of Vaughan Brothers song, "Tick Tock". Just a tiny bit as it is a bit more upbeat song. So too I think of Level 42's "Good Man In A Storm".
Favorite part, "sometimes, not all the time, we run aground and it's then we don't dare to make a sound. in case we wake the dark one because he's the one who'll be the death of us all."
Favorite part, "sometimes, not all the time, we run aground and it's then we don't dare to make a sound. in case we wake the dark one because he's the one who'll be the death of us all."
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re: A bit like....
10th Apr 2012 11:54pm
mr Jazz
Ah yes , "Good Man In A Storm" I like that tune.
Quite partial to a bit of level 42, they have one of the best bass players i have heard.
I found this one tough to get down, I'm still not sure about some of it.
I appreciate you stopping by, reading and commenting.
Thanks man!
Ah yes , "Good Man In A Storm" I like that tune.
Quite partial to a bit of level 42, they have one of the best bass players i have heard.
I found this one tough to get down, I'm still not sure about some of it.
I appreciate you stopping by, reading and commenting.
Thanks man!
re: re: A bit like....
No problem...I fell in love with Mark King's bass when they where the house band for the Prince's Trust in 1989. From what my friends tell me thay were involved more recently, but I am not sure what year that was.
1
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Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
10th Apr 2012 10:17pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Eamon
10th Apr 2012 11:56pm
crims,
Always good to see you around these parts. hope you are well.
Thanks for the kind comment and listing.
honored.
Always good to see you around these parts. hope you are well.
Thanks for the kind comment and listing.
honored.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2019 1:37am
10th Apr 2012 11:06pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Sometimes, not all the time, it's like quicksand
10th Apr 2012 11:59pm
Indie.
Thanks.
Appreciate your fine input into this. I think it reads better than the original.
not too sad i hope :)
Thanks.
Appreciate your fine input into this. I think it reads better than the original.
not too sad i hope :)
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 7:52pm
11th Apr 2012 00:52am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: Solid.
moondancer.
Thank you for your kind comment much appreciated.
ps. I was hoping what with you being a Hendrix fan you might have got the 'Little Wing ' reference
Thank you for your kind comment much appreciated.
ps. I was hoping what with you being a Hendrix fan you might have got the 'Little Wing ' reference
Anonymous
- Edited 21st May 2018 7:36pm
11th Apr 2012 1:13am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: :)
11th Apr 2012 2:31am
Devlin.
Thanks for stopping by.
Mind scrambler haha nice :)
yeah, I figured a little horror was apt considering.
I am glad to have impressed you, makes it worthwhile.
Thanks for stopping by.
Mind scrambler haha nice :)
yeah, I figured a little horror was apt considering.
I am glad to have impressed you, makes it worthwhile.
=).
11th Apr 2012 3:28am
Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity.
... Priceless!! A statement that could be copy written and paid for.. epic!
... Priceless!! A statement that could be copy written and paid for.. epic!
1
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re: =).
11th Apr 2012 9:15am
Devil Woman
"Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity"
well i'll sell it to you for 50 of your american dollars. That should be equal to a pack of cigarettes here.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your flattery.
"Sometimes, not all the time, the silence between tick and tock can last an eternity"
well i'll sell it to you for 50 of your american dollars. That should be equal to a pack of cigarettes here.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your flattery.
re: :)
11th Apr 2012 7:18pm
GG.
Great to see you back, Hope you stay for a while this time.
Thanks for dropping in and throwing down your thoughts.
shine on !
Great to see you back, Hope you stay for a while this time.
Thanks for dropping in and throwing down your thoughts.
shine on !
comment
11th Apr 2012 9:51pm
the last line is a killer!
i can't imagine a better ending for this little piece.
i can't imagine a better ending for this little piece.
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re: comment
11th Apr 2012 10:09pm
Opheliac
well Thank you kindly for gracing this page with your presence and leaving a comment.
That line has been hanging around in my head now for a number of weeks and like you i figured it was the perfect ending for this little write.
well Thank you kindly for gracing this page with your presence and leaving a comment.
That line has been hanging around in my head now for a number of weeks and like you i figured it was the perfect ending for this little write.
Very skillfully handled...
13th Apr 2012 7:31am
this one and the, 'Sometimes, not all the time,' provides a classical refrain touch which I find missing in free verse works.
1
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re: Very skillfully handled...
29th Apr 2012 10:54pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Nov 2018 6:35pm
29th Apr 2012 10:26pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: We the person
29th Apr 2012 10:58pm
Magdalena.
"One should never struggle in quicksand, it will get a tighter grip and take the person down"
my point exactly.
I just asked all of me if they thought we were schizophrenic and all but one replied hell no.
thank you for reading and laying down your thoughts on this little write.
"One should never struggle in quicksand, it will get a tighter grip and take the person down"
my point exactly.
I just asked all of me if they thought we were schizophrenic and all but one replied hell no.
thank you for reading and laying down your thoughts on this little write.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 7:38pm
3rd May 2012 5:49pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
re: ...
4th May 2012 11:44am