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Penguin
He was the guy in the cafeteria,
the one the noticed me when I didn't want to be noticed.
He was the guy that sat next to me in biology,
so that way I didn't feel so alone.
He was the guy that wanted to hang out with me,
when I thought that he would cancel last minute.
He was the one that stopped me from killing myself that night,
like he has done many time after that.
He was the one that I could go to
when no one else was there.
He was the one that made sure everyone else was happy,
not once stopping to do the same for himself.
When I allowed him to hold me those September nights,
I didn't know what I was doing.
Was I leading him on?
I would often wonder to myself.
Was I using him?
I tried to justify my actions.
My fluttering eyelashes,
my shy smiles.
My inflamed cheeks when he'd wink at me.
I was dating someone at the time.
And that someone was a girl.
This story is getting old.
I was gay.
And was dating a girl.
But he stole my heart.
Right where I use to wear it on my face,
to protect me from the pain that I was facing alone.
He called me beautiful.
Admired what I saw as flaws.
Blushed when I flirted innocently with him.
He held me.
Pulled me close.
Let me lay my head on his lap.
Hold his hand.
Cling to his arm.
Hug him.
Hold him.
I saw him as my best friend.
She hated him.
But yet he was so much more understanding than her.
When he gave me lean way to cut myself, just a little--
If I needed it, because I was sick at the time.
He let me, within reason of course.
She said that he didn't love me as much as she did.
But he loved all the more.
He was willing to do anything for me.
He didn't try to come between her and I.
I was the one that put him there.
Just in case no one knows by now...
I cheated on her with him.
But I couldn't help it.
My heart swelled with pain when
I heard what he said to me that day.
I promised her I wouldn't cheat on her again.
I promised I would never kiss him again.
As long as I didn't have to say good-bye to him.
"You're the perfect girl for me, I'll never find anyone else. You're the one."
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Did he have to say THAT?
Chivalry, that thing that I thought to be dead.
Believing in the fairytale happily ever after.
Wanting the movie and books romances that I blushed at the thought of.
And that's what he gave me.
Chivalry.
Romance.
Love.
And not just any kind of love.
Not love at first sight.
Not my very first love.
Not lust.
No...
He gave me true love.
When a penguin finds it's mate, they stay together forever. Just like soul mates...
"You're my soul mate."
He said those words to me and they echoed in my mind,
always and forever.
Ever since I've called him my penguin.
Because he was the one,
that I wanted to be with for life.
He is my soul mate.
He is my penguin.
the one the noticed me when I didn't want to be noticed.
He was the guy that sat next to me in biology,
so that way I didn't feel so alone.
He was the guy that wanted to hang out with me,
when I thought that he would cancel last minute.
He was the one that stopped me from killing myself that night,
like he has done many time after that.
He was the one that I could go to
when no one else was there.
He was the one that made sure everyone else was happy,
not once stopping to do the same for himself.
When I allowed him to hold me those September nights,
I didn't know what I was doing.
Was I leading him on?
I would often wonder to myself.
Was I using him?
I tried to justify my actions.
My fluttering eyelashes,
my shy smiles.
My inflamed cheeks when he'd wink at me.
I was dating someone at the time.
And that someone was a girl.
This story is getting old.
I was gay.
And was dating a girl.
But he stole my heart.
Right where I use to wear it on my face,
to protect me from the pain that I was facing alone.
He called me beautiful.
Admired what I saw as flaws.
Blushed when I flirted innocently with him.
He held me.
Pulled me close.
Let me lay my head on his lap.
Hold his hand.
Cling to his arm.
Hug him.
Hold him.
I saw him as my best friend.
She hated him.
But yet he was so much more understanding than her.
When he gave me lean way to cut myself, just a little--
If I needed it, because I was sick at the time.
He let me, within reason of course.
She said that he didn't love me as much as she did.
But he loved all the more.
He was willing to do anything for me.
He didn't try to come between her and I.
I was the one that put him there.
Just in case no one knows by now...
I cheated on her with him.
But I couldn't help it.
My heart swelled with pain when
I heard what he said to me that day.
I promised her I wouldn't cheat on her again.
I promised I would never kiss him again.
As long as I didn't have to say good-bye to him.
"You're the perfect girl for me, I'll never find anyone else. You're the one."
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Did he have to say THAT?
Chivalry, that thing that I thought to be dead.
Believing in the fairytale happily ever after.
Wanting the movie and books romances that I blushed at the thought of.
And that's what he gave me.
Chivalry.
Romance.
Love.
And not just any kind of love.
Not love at first sight.
Not my very first love.
Not lust.
No...
He gave me true love.
When a penguin finds it's mate, they stay together forever. Just like soul mates...
"You're my soul mate."
He said those words to me and they echoed in my mind,
always and forever.
Ever since I've called him my penguin.
Because he was the one,
that I wanted to be with for life.
He is my soul mate.
He is my penguin.
Published 17th Mar 2012
| Edited 31st Mar 2012
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