One Gun, Two Graves

i like :D

hey man thanks really appreciate the comment :) and ill go read some more of yours

Thanks for the comment

Each victim of suicide gives his act a personal stamp which expresses his temperament, the special conditions in which he is involved, and which, consequently, cannot be explained by the social and general causes of the phenomenon: meaning we are the only ones who know the steps and kinda life that drew us to lash out to take our lives. Once again a punch to the gut. You bring a lot to the table when you write dear. Kudos again.  

Thank you. i really like how you took the time to dig into my poem. when i write, i tend to challenge myself to have deeper meaning. thanks! :)

But if it was mine i would close it up a little tighter.
Which ever way its a good write....

what do you mean by "close it up a bit tighter"?

It builds up and builds up, giving the enemy a chance to stagger.

Using wrathful prattle to give someone a bath of battle means getting ghastly but leaving them addled.

The first piece did this with chatter, letting the enemy sag from an attack and then coming after.

Get them divided, slice from both sides, until there's such a rush of images, spinning within, assault like a Sultan. When you spree bars to free spar the enemy is supposed to see stars.

On all of this you succeedeed by far... but step into a grave, expect to make your own place?

This is a heavy statement to make. Closing it up tight would mean build and rise so the will inside like fire dances behind your eyes...

and then just finishes, extinguished instead of saying goodbye.

Suicide is unresolvable, so to use a self-death when you mob and roll it's best to leave those bereft with no resolution. That hole you left? It's their own conclusion.

Sometimes grace robs and it can be commonplace to rock some rhythm and not know when that hidden spot is when it's time to...

stop.

Well plotted, thank you for sharing.

Thanks for taking the time to comment, hope you enjoy :)