Good Byes

By:  Tara Rickman
I knew it would happen
Because I've been through it before
I just didn't know it would hurt so much more
I tried not to allow it
Because the last time was so bad
But now it's about to happen and it's driving me mad
You'll never understand why it hurts so much
But I can't forget
And it's like de'ja vu
Every. Single. Last. Bit.
See, I care too much
and too easily
So every good bye is like a knife in me
I thought I could prevent it
and at first it worked
But I've realized I couldn't and it makes my heart hurt
My heart is tender
But you aren't to blame
It's just happened so many times before and it puts me to shame
You'd think I'd learn, by now at least
But this is the third time and it still hits me like a beast
Heartbreak is real
Heartbreak is unusual
But it's worst for me and it's just not that curable
I wish I'd stop this
This torture to myself
But by the end of it all it's another book on the shelf
Another chapter's been read and another page has been turned
And it's just another memory I'd like to burn
I think harshly like this for a while
Then, I think of the good times and smile
I realize it's not all bad
And that every  memory wasn't a waste
Because I got to spend them with you and I wouldn't have had it any other way
It's happened again but it's more like a friend
These goodbyes may be hard but they've made me who I am