a different kind of pain

There are days when I wonder
how lucky one has to be to lie
in the middle of a highway and not
get runover
standing on the 31st floor
counting the seconds it might take
to feel the first scrape of skin
when you hit the ground.

I have all these thoughts I exert
through little seeps of
hellos and
yeahs

I try to be a simple person.

But I am always thinking about
how much pain I can take.