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Addicted

 I知 addicted.
Addicted to self hate, to self disgust, and to self condemnation.
I知 addicted to pale blue skies painted black with lies and kissing goodbye痴 till the sun and stars don稚 shine.
I知 addicted to feasting on cockroaches in hopes I will still live when I chop my own head off.
I知 addicted.
Addicted to blood, to pain and to excuses.
I知 addicted to carving my initials into the landscape of my body to make valleys between the Rockies made from the grooves of my pocket keys.
I知 addicted to pouring my soul out on the carpet but knowing Mom won稚 notice the stain anyways.
I知 addicted to anything that has to do with I messed up and two weeks grounded will never teach me a lesson.
I知 addicted.
Addicted to shame, to piercings, and to gluing in my contacts
I知 addicted to making flowers wilt when I walk past gardens planted by Rabbis living in huts.
I知 addicted to licking wooden poles and getting splinters in my tongue so every cuss word I utter will come out a bloody mess.
I知 addicted.
Addicted to hurt, to anger, and to letting go of dreams.
I知 addicted to the lack and refusion of love that internal instinct has given me.
I知 addicted to never being better than the best at anything the world expects me to do.
I知 addicted to pulling apart my atoms and strewing them across the yard and selling them for the same price as a pack of Marlboro cigarettes.
I知 addicted to smoking weed in hell because maybe I can get high enough to see the Lord and hold His hand one more time before I知 pulled back down to where I belong.
I知 addicted to falling in love with antagonists.
I知 addicted to emptiness.
I知 addicted.
Written by MusicSavant (TheyCallMeOcean)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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