Fighting

The walls close in around me
The crushing black slowly squeezes the life out of me
The dark clouds my eyes
There's no way out
No fucking way out
I claw I fight I tear for a chance
It doesn't matter
I'd rather fall down and die
At least then I wouldn't have to deal
To tell the truth
I'm tired
So fucking tired of being kicked around and fucked over
The shit I've done with my life doesn't matter it dosent fucking matter !!
I've done nothing
Nothing for anyone to remember me for
All that I've done all that I've fought for has left me behind
Left me to die
So why don't I just do that ? Why do I fight ?
If all I can do is survive ?
I want to live not just to survive
I want to have meaning
To feel the pleasures of company
Of love and lust and the thrills of a good life !
Why can't I have that ?!
Why can't I have that ? ...
My knuckles are bruised and bloody from the wall I've beaten
I do my best to nurse my wounds each night but I can only heal so much
All I do is endure
Endure all this fucking time in passing all this time that dosent mean a damn thing all these wasted moments and all this pain ...
Whats the point ?
What the fucks the point ?!
Dammit !! I'm so sick of this
So sick of everything !!
So sick of the lies the pain and the bullshit !!
I'm done man
I'm done
I'm done ..
The black can take me ...
I welcome it now
I welcome it
I'll wipe away my tears and I'll move forward the best I can
If I fail then I fail
I'll fall down and die