Life lessons from the Walrus Take 1

When you start a story, the first thing they tell you is not to have your character wake up, from sleep, from a coma, not from shit.  
They tell you that not because it gives cancer to orphans, not because it can give you a blood clot, but because it is overused and stagnant.  
Like a dead hooker who had just been stumbled over by that roving, well endowed pack of necrophiliacs, it has been raped, killed and raped some more.  
At this point if you  have to start off with the poor fuck who is being forced into the position as the main imaginary being into the twisted, piece of fuck you call a story, well Mary Ann just bend over and hike up your skirt because the literary world is about to fuck you right up the ass.  
Unless of course the fact that the character waking up first thing in your tale of motherfuckery is abso-fucking-lutely essential to the brick of shit that you call a plot ,than by all means go for it.