deepundergroundpoetry.com
Circus Waiting
Illusion, asleep,
Reality - the soldiers of duty forced,
As they march, march, madness across the page of light.
Angry, violent, violent, relentless death
As the packing bull elephant – roaring, lingering victorious.
The hungry,
Circling, rounding, blunt, rewinding
What would push them;
Reading, flying, searching to that underground world?
The brain ravaging space, curving the circus waiting.
Reality - the soldiers of duty forced,
As they march, march, madness across the page of light.
Angry, violent, violent, relentless death
As the packing bull elephant – roaring, lingering victorious.
The hungry,
Circling, rounding, blunt, rewinding
What would push them;
Reading, flying, searching to that underground world?
The brain ravaging space, curving the circus waiting.
Published 14th Jan 2012
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14th Jan 2012 11:13pm
sent a rush thru my veins! very exciting! my biggest peeve is; too much punctuation! My suggestion is if you wanna break it, go to the next line. there is really no need EVER for a period. not in poetry anyway... if you think your audience needs you to tell them when to stop. then your in the wrong field. "What would push them" is a question... no semi-colon "searching to that underground" with a question mark? basic ex; of trying to tie in too many descriptive words into one phrase. the peice could have survived without "searching" Really enjoyed it tho!!!!!
