bloody gardens

i awake to this dream that is my life as i take my first aware breath of air. i dream that i die every night and wake up gasping for oxygen. panic is my first reaction followed by relief and confusion. dreams become nightmares and being awake is a dream. the circles under my eyes may be dark and the future is light years away. as i dream about blood pouring from every orifice uncontrollably like a fountain. am i the center piece of a blood drenched garden in my own wonderland? the horror of it all infuses with my consciousness and becomes contagious, infectious, and perpetual.