deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sinister of the Sea
why wount you speek to me???
why wount i call???
my mind is in a wounder.
and coverd by fogg..
why cant i be strong??
and stand for what i please.
only to get broken down,
and crying on my knees.
lonelyness fades me...
and i bgain to cover..
i gradually disapeare
into whats not me.
long lasting life.
lost by sea.
-Kumiko Yamamoto
why wount i call???
my mind is in a wounder.
and coverd by fogg..
why cant i be strong??
and stand for what i please.
only to get broken down,
and crying on my knees.
lonelyness fades me...
and i bgain to cover..
i gradually disapeare
into whats not me.
long lasting life.
lost by sea.
-Kumiko Yamamoto
Published 17th Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 247
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Dec 2011 6:31pm
17th Dec 2011 6:37pm
you are realy truly an inspiring person to me..and i thank you for all your suport
17th Dec 2011 6:55pm
you are kind to i never be call and bodys insperation that aa new one for me and i thank you for that i never thought i be that to no-one
17th Dec 2011 6:59pm
17th Dec 2011 7:46pm
17th Dec 2011 8:00pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:40pm
17th Dec 2011 8:16pm
<< post removed >>
18th Dec 2011 00:24am
17th Dec 2011 8:32pm
18th Dec 2011 00:24am
18th Dec 2011 10:38pm
The metaphor of the sea and isolation is perfect. This may be only my opinion but I would try to see if any other words might replace one or more of the "why". 3 of your first 5 sentences start with. I find that repetition should be done with care so not to lose the impact of the word.
18th Dec 2011 11:27pm