THE NIGHT I WISH NEVER HAPPENED

 

The darkness in my soul,
kill’s the very light of my beginnings.
seeming like there is nothing left to harm
I forget to live.
letting my breath leave me to be alone forever more.
I choose my fate
I choose to give up
Nothing or no one can stop me now.
The music in the background play’s
my ending tune.
The people who laughed before,
will they cry now?
Or will they even care?
People who seemed to care I realize now they were all lies!
So why would they cry?
I pull my chosen weapon,
Stainless steel sharpened knife,
Soon to be running with ruby red liquid.
It will be my true friend tonight.
It will not be scared to admit the truth to all friendships.
Cut tell you feel no more.
To take the very life from you
Tonight my friend will kill and hold no guilt or regret.
I pull this silver friend to my skin.
Pressing,
Pulling,
Bleeding,
Dyeing,
 I lay here waiting for sleep to set in.
I feel a glimpse of happiness  
Knowing that I will be in Peace forever more.
Strange the light seems brighter than any light I have ever seen In my short life on earth.
I hear beautiful singing in the distant background.
I feel the most amazing peace.
I see a man but I can not look at his beauty.
Only the glowing holes in his wrists.
Did he kill himself to I think.
But then knowing instantly that he died the greatest death,
Sacrifice to save his children.
and I wished I could have been loved like that!
Then I hear “You were a child all along, but you chose to reject it.”
And I remembered a man speaking of one called Jesus,
Who died to be my savior... to reunite me with my heavenly Father.
I left that man laughing knowing that know one would ever love me that much!
I looked down at my wrists seeing DANMED written in my blood.
I look up and see flames rising
Pain increasing!!
Fear ascending
Loneliness setting in for eternity
I wish I had believed!
the pain on earth can never compare to this
HELL!!