Suicide

The ultimate question of life 
Should we live or die?
Should I pop the cyanide
And end my dying life?
Suicide on my mind
Everyday like "Do or Die" 
And another question, "You alive?" 
No I'm not alive
I'm the walking dead, no plan to survive
Take the .44 and bust a cap into my mind 
It's like I live in a mental asylum 
But it's not a facilitation or building
It's the dangerous mind of a disturbed villain
With a disease not curable by penicillin
It's not the disease of the lungs, livers, or skin
It's the spiritual cancer of the mind and heart
With much of the soul tearing all apart
My friends don't believe me
When I say I wanna kill me
They think I'm a load of bullshit
When in fact, they know no shit
Only thing keeping me from the world to part
Is my lover, the fear of losing her forever
Because I know I'm not going where she is
Everyday to God I'm pleading
That I should be with her in the ceiling
Unfortunately no love under for hellions
And no place above for rebellions 
In this world I am an alien 
Not where I belong
As this pain continues to prolong
Being stepped on and looked down on 
Father doesn't love me
Ever since my lil sis was born 
The family's relationship was scorned
She ruined everything
But I'll see her as well in hell
I'll beat her ass as a baby demon
An everlasting beating 
For all the pain she caused
It's all her flaws
That caused us to flaw
But I've had enough of talking
Sick of enemies walking
And pretending to be my friends till the end
Well "friend" this is my end
I bid you farewell until we meet again
In hell...