The start up

I have started back up.
I really wish i didnt
it was today,
October, 13, 2011
if i didn't would i be writing this?
No,
but i have restarted and it feels so,
good.
If i was smart i would quit,
but i cant and this is killing me.

It all started with a small cut,
where i knew no one would see.
The blood flowed perfectly and i knew i was over.
I knew that i couldnt resist.
So i made a few more the blood flowing down my arm.
You would ask me if i was afraid.
You bet,
im afraid that my people will find out and put me away.
That they will give me medication that will make me throw up until there's nothing left.
That with every pill i will become more addicted.
If i never started there would be no need to stop would there?