< memories of weakness >

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memories
   of weakness
   of missiles
   of the blurred hero
   of the documentary and the fiction
   of the actors in newsreels
   of the punishment of devils
   of the worship of superstition

memories
   of art which promises to tell the truth
   of artists who are busy saying:
      "this is a world where one idea,
       is as good as any other;
       let's pick the one that sells"

memories
   of the films about peace
   of the films about tolerance
   of the films that never made it to TV
      a TV filled with only one solution

      one solution:

      violence

memories
   of art that sells us cars
      and hamburgers
      and fighter jets
      and terrorists
      and ice cream

memories
   of the art that tells me how to feel when i get up
      and put on my deodorant
      and my smile
      and the plain clothes of the "us" that no one really is

      and go

      go to my job in this democracy

      democracy!

      and i spend eight hours where i can not vote
      and i keep my mouth shut if i know what's good for me
      and i pretend

      pretend to be someone who is necessary

memories
   of god, of meaning, of suffering

   of profit

   of my cooperation, my compromise, my selfishness, my greed,
      my food, my house, my love, my life

      my anger

      my despair

memories
   of my dependence

      my dependence

      on my silence


in this film i am the censor and i do it well

because

because i know:

   in the next office, and the next office, and the next office
   my boss, and his boss, and his boss

   sit
 
   waiting

   waiting in their offices

   waiting there

   to pull the trigger

            - - -