Nobody understands

I hope you know I was being and ass hole
Rack ya skull dumb fuck while I school you on a broken soul
When I say im ok yea duh im lying
If you know it then help me stop this crying
I’m lonely yet you claim you’re there for me
Then show it cuz when you don’t the result is you freeze me
I close up shut tight don’t touch me
Won’t say a word and pretend I don’t see
I can’t see, the obstacles before me
Frightening, yet you’re nowhere when I scream
When I wail at night bottle in my right hand
I just wish one fuckin idiot would understand
The pain is so much too much to stay sane
My irises glossy you see the clouds above my head
Aint got no one to be my wind shield instead
These rain drops leave a stain
Down my chocolate comforter yet I’m not a comforter
I can’t be socially proud
Cuz when the youngest calls for help I cry I cant help but scream out loud
No words of encouragement all of me has left me now
I have nothing to be proud of but the degree im workin toward now
Yet the goal is to become that of what is lost
How can I empower and lead when my heart has become so soft
What will they gain what will they lose I don’t have a clue
My strength has left with my soul you may see it soon
Amongst the trees and wind far away from the gloom
And what has my good ol soul left behind for me
Emptiness a shell in the darkness with hopes it’ll find ME soon