deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Virgins Request
She came over, only after dozens of flowers
at his request
Carnations as such, have heady powers
for which lend no viable protest
She came over for dinner
at his request
A setting for a sinner, yet
she feels blessed
She came over for conversation
at his request
his manner, his flirtation
so much for her to digest
She came over to get to know each other
at his request
one after another
the moments progressed
She came over for more
at his request
her chance to explore
to be finessed
She came over to this persuasion
at his request
she needed this invasion
to be possessed
She came
at his request
he breathed her name
and deep love he confessed
Then,
her virginal request
to please do the same
all over her chest
He Came
at his request
Carnations as such, have heady powers
for which lend no viable protest
She came over for dinner
at his request
A setting for a sinner, yet
she feels blessed
She came over for conversation
at his request
his manner, his flirtation
so much for her to digest
She came over to get to know each other
at his request
one after another
the moments progressed
She came over for more
at his request
her chance to explore
to be finessed
She came over to this persuasion
at his request
she needed this invasion
to be possessed
She came
at his request
he breathed her name
and deep love he confessed
Then,
her virginal request
to please do the same
all over her chest
He Came
Published 21st Aug 2011
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likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 15
reads 435
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Aug 2011 10:51pm
I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh, but I did. The picture in my mind was just too funny, but that's just the way my brain works. It's actually very sexy, though my own memories of virginal requests are from so long ago I can hardly recall. I like the repetition of his progressively seductive requests and how she turns the tables on him in the end. jj
21st Aug 2011 11:00pm
my very first attempt with the subject matter....I can live with a laugh! I actually struggled with the end...had more than one..went with the table turning.
Thank you for your attention to this..I am wondering though if any further attempts in this area should ever be tried by me. :}
Thank you for your attention to this..I am wondering though if any further attempts in this area should ever be tried by me. :}
28th Aug 2011 12:09pm
My philosophy on poetry is that I write whatever I feel when an inspiration arrives. The muse should never be forsaken, great poems are from deep within, so if a feeling for such a poem drifts through your mind, send it through your heart to your fingertips and write whatever comes out.
I gave up attempting to write anything, I just write what's already there, and it happens for as long as the muse allows it to happen. I find that when I have someone special in my heart, the muse is aroused and in turn stimulates my creativity. Sometimes the words come out passionately erotic, sometimes as deep expressions of love or desire.
If I later decide I don't want to be so naughty, I can always edit the poem.
Poets, artists of all kinds, must follow our hearts. Allow the words to bloom in full color, no one will know unless you decide to show them.
I gave up attempting to write anything, I just write what's already there, and it happens for as long as the muse allows it to happen. I find that when I have someone special in my heart, the muse is aroused and in turn stimulates my creativity. Sometimes the words come out passionately erotic, sometimes as deep expressions of love or desire.
If I later decide I don't want to be so naughty, I can always edit the poem.
Poets, artists of all kinds, must follow our hearts. Allow the words to bloom in full color, no one will know unless you decide to show them.
28th Aug 2011 1:31pm
22nd Aug 2011 1:04am
22nd Aug 2011 1:14am
and this so very short time that I have known you I would have laid my bets on this being your choice of fair play to run with...
Touche sir!
Touche sir!
22nd Aug 2011 2:58pm
22nd Aug 2011 3:06pm
did the same thing to me while writing it!
Thank you again for the attention you pay sir!!!
Informally of course.
Thank you again for the attention you pay sir!!!
Informally of course.
22nd Aug 2011 7:53pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 11:45am
22nd Aug 2011 3:02pm
<< post removed >>
22nd Aug 2011 3:08pm
humbled by your stopping by my window.
I may just give you that which you seek.
In serious, Thank you for reading.
I may just give you that which you seek.
In serious, Thank you for reading.
22nd Aug 2011 6:01pm
31st Aug 2011 00:30am
ahh yes! great stuff here. the subtle change from came over to came was genius.
i thought the first line had too many multi syllable words to tie in properly with the second and third line. "only after dozens of flowers" but i do get that you kinda need these for the setting.
it could be that i set my own reading pace too fast.but the rest of the stanza's to me have a great flowing to them,so maybe it's not me after all :)
the ending stanza is good too, however i have mixed feelings about:
"to please do the same
all over her chest" sort of brings the poem to a new level. on the other hand it does bring it to a nice end.
all in i enjoyed reading this marvelous creation of yours.
i thought the first line had too many multi syllable words to tie in properly with the second and third line. "only after dozens of flowers" but i do get that you kinda need these for the setting.
it could be that i set my own reading pace too fast.but the rest of the stanza's to me have a great flowing to them,so maybe it's not me after all :)
the ending stanza is good too, however i have mixed feelings about:
"to please do the same
all over her chest" sort of brings the poem to a new level. on the other hand it does bring it to a nice end.
all in i enjoyed reading this marvelous creation of yours.
12th Sep 2012 5:48pm
This poem reminds me of my first experience with my childhood sweetheart who was 12 then and I was 14. I didn't come on her chest, but I already came before we even started, (LOL)...great poem!
25th Oct 2012 5:04pm