The Fucked Up Thing I Call My Mind

I wrote this poem during a depressed state in my life. Im no longer depressed, but i still love this poem lol.

Im slaughtering myself from the inside,
and I don't give two shits.
My heart is sweetly closing,
but my body won't commit.
Call it self presevation,
but its a violation,
and a aggravation
to go through such
dark suffacation
just to cultivate the population,
that make up this fucked up
generation.
Base it on a lack of stimulation
or sleep depravation,
but no medication
can fullfill my wish of
seperation
from the mutilation
of my mind.
Call it defense in depth,
but i easily regret
that i know my debt
and it has been
overpaid...

I want to soak my thoughts
in a glowing pool of serenity,
dissapating my identity
and fading my thoughts.
But they will forever
haunt and possess me,
never leaving me be.
Just need to learn how to handle
the insanity.
Something I can't gaurantee,
I am capable of..