deepundergroundpoetry.com
Beach Party
The sound of waves
meets the glow of candles
which you lit.
I longed to capture it
with words, with
silent whispers,
with the only thing
I can.
But I can't.
meets the glow of candles
which you lit.
I longed to capture it
with words, with
silent whispers,
with the only thing
I can.
But I can't.
Published 1st Aug 2011
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likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 351
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 11:36am
1st Aug 2011 2:33pm
<< post removed >>
1st Aug 2011 3:55pm
D'oh! missed it! thanks for pointing out.
I appreciate for the suggestion i will change it immediately!
Many many thanks for adding it to your reading list sweetie :))
I appreciate for the suggestion i will change it immediately!
Many many thanks for adding it to your reading list sweetie :))
1st Aug 2011 3:33pm
hi opheliac.
i would agree with jesta about the first verse.
i wonder if i could be so bold as to suggest a sound for the waves: crashing,falling,dancing, depending on the mood you are setting.
never the less,it is as per a wonderful read.
shine on!!
i would agree with jesta about the first verse.
i wonder if i could be so bold as to suggest a sound for the waves: crashing,falling,dancing, depending on the mood you are setting.
never the less,it is as per a wonderful read.
shine on!!
i quite fancy your suggesting to be honest but i prefer to keep it simple and leave it to the reader's imagination of how the waves were sounding.
thanks for commenting and liking my poem :)
thanks for commenting and liking my poem :)
9th Mar 2012 7:40am
1st Aug 2011 3:53pm
2nd Aug 2011 10:18am
You are such a sweet wordsmith Ophie...and I am glad that the title brings an intense meaning to the script, great selection.
13th Dec 2013 00:23am
this is where Anando comes in
your garb of simplicity
is far far too intense
I do sincerely hope
you have come in terms
with life
all the best
your garb of simplicity
is far far too intense
I do sincerely hope
you have come in terms
with life
all the best