"One Too Many"

My mind is raw with tension that builds up in my fluttering chest, blushing hotly as I feel you loving me, knowing just what button to press to get the thought running, the heat working wonders. Suddenly with the sudden feeling of you entering something else, plastic, rigid enters too. I know the color, black and clear yellow, I know the feel, dry and rubbing, I know the look, screwdriver handle. Hot ocean waves push against me, feeling the heat of you, dull oil fills me up, feeling the numbness as well. Inside of me is all messed up, the nerves not liking what they should, not acting like a girl.
"You like it..."
Words hang like the rope of a noose around my neck so I can't scream, I like her not you get away foul beast, stray away. The thoughts I can't help them from calling out a name, any name to come and help me . . .
Mom, help!
Dad, help!
Jesus, help!
Satan, stop!
Though that help never comes and although it doesn't hurt I don't like it, will never like it as the beast thinks I will. The girl I love feels what he wants me to feel, that pleasure that rising that orgasmic thing that woman so fuck to get.Why can't I? Why must I deal with this numb almost uncomfortable feeling inside while she gets to blush and moan?
"Do you love me, do you love me"
His fingers going inside even though they don't fit, they won't, I'm too young you can't make me scream. Get them out they don't belong there, not right now. Gotta get out, that's it hit my head against the head board. . .
Thump, thump, thump, thump. . .
. . . Go to sleep please . . .
Thump, thump, thump, thump. . .
. . . Sl . . . Sleep . . .