Thoughts of a Dying Man

Tepid defiance  
My weak and fragile body,  
aged by the seemingly   
Neverending years.  
That have now rushed to their end  
 
I defy god in these last hours!  
The thought of an eternity by his side  
makes me all the more tired  
 
Sweet nothingness take me!  
 
This unending constantness,  
alert, aware and  numb to it all  
these 100 years have made me half-mad  
Things have come and gone  
 
Ideals change  
and purpose leaves  
only to then come back  
in full force  
But never did we need   
the hand of god  
For the times we needed it most,  
we were told we fought against him  
Hitler was one of his greatest champions.  
 
And so the tormented   
minds of the poor  
decided to break the shackles  
of god, only to put on  
the shackles of the emotionally retarded.  
Lower class mama's boys unable  
to accept their own failures.  
Failed architects, failed artist,failed doctors and failed lawyers.  
Desperate to dominate   
Lennon, Stalin, Che and Mao  
Castro  
 
 
 
My body grows more weak  
and malleable  
as I think  
of the men and women  
I loved whom I lost  
to the childish  
emotional Impotence of  
these "men"  
         .  
               .  
                     .  
As I slowly die I finally realise  
true inner peace  
That these thoughts  
are no longer my responsibilities  
But the responsibilities of my sons and daughters, and theirs.  
 
So guided are they by  
the new enlightenment of this  
New Age of free dispersed  knowledge  
 
Some embrace  
Some fear  
Some ignore  
But most will rely on it.  
 
 
What will come of the  
grouping and prevalance of  
the newly Enlightened?  
For, I believe, if they truly were,  
they would drop their toys, know they  
play w/ themselves, and evolve past their parents shortcomings  
 
Perhaps then the rational may reign...  
 
So as I lay, reflecting  
on thoughts like these,  
my seemingly un-wetable  
parched mouth can barely move,  
my throat to weak to bellow  
even a deep sigh...  
I find my best use is  
not the knowledge I have gathered,  
but simply to console  
those who I am leaving  
And to ensure them I am  
going to a better place.  
Whichever place that  they  
find peace w/ imagining.  
 
And in sight of this  
vanity  
at a time that most  
seemingly should be the  
consoling of me,  
I find that in reassuring them,  
is where I have found peace.  
 
How odd!  
 
And so w/ my last breath  
I drift into the unknown,  
as my subconcious so graciously  
allows me to visualize my greatest desires...  
 
My love, I come for you!  
In your open arms, I am now free!