War

A very profound poem that came to life for me when I hit "in this dull war".  I mentally argue back and forth over the the relative grandiose or "glamorous" nature of the opening, but appreciate its necessity for the completeness of the poem.  Not really sure what I would do differently though.

Glamorous! I have always refused to dress things up. The helicopters are a regular thing around these parts. Every one with two testicles has decided they're equipped enough to be mafia!

Glamorous was perhaps over-stating it a bit. I could try another analogy but that might not work either.  The opening of the poem is like an episode of TJ Hooker, where the rest of the poem is like Law and Order.  Yeah, see, even that's not quite right either.

Oh well, I guess it matters not since I don't have any useful suggestions.  Carry on.

Thank you kindly. I appreciate the suggestion, but I think the repetitive simpleton approach fits with the moronic substance. I would potentially consider dropping 'by it' to its own line and capitalising 'it,' but hmmmmmm.

You should come visit.

Drove the point into me with magnum force! Great feeling,,,just great.

The poem almost brings tears in my eyes and the hardcore subjectivity is very well handled. The last stanza is like a sudden jerk to the sleeping world and us. Deeply moved and I will remember this for a long time.