One X

One x,
Two cuts.
Just two,
Turns into four.
It's addicting, I know.
"It's not healthy," they say,
But what do they know?
Call me mental,
Emo,
Crazy,
I don't care.
It helps me focus on the pain.
Takes my mind off of things,
If only for a while.
These scars willl always haunt me,
They criss cross and overlap.
There's reasons for all this,
Reasons I keep hidden-
Locked away for only me to know.
Go ahead and ask,
But I know you won't.
You look at me like I'm a freak.
So why would you care?
I know you never will,
But I keep this small sliver of hope-
Miracles do happen, after all.
Buy me gifts to pretend you care,
But I know it's all a joke.
A cruel one at that.
Just leave me alone, please.
I'm tired of your pretending.