Forget Those Words

"Will you marry me?"  
A question you asked me during one of our many endless conversations  
And wholeheartedly I said "Yes!"  

Believing this was meant to be  
Preordained by God Himself  
A destiny so divine my heart could only describe it as being blessed  

Knowing it would take a long time for that destiny to be fulfilled  
That fate of happiness as you will  
For it would be months till you even came back from war  

Time drawing out longer  
Communication becoming less I start to wonder  
Do you still want me anymore?  

Dust and dirt on your boots  
Bloodstains on the ground  
Stories and images of fellow soldiers lost  
The worries of life bearing heavy on your shoulders  

I fear of what might be happening to your heart, mind, soul  
You see war changes people and you'll be no exception  
Yes, you too have grown colder  

Now ignoring me completely  
For reasons only you can know  
I long for explanation, knowing I'll receive none  
Because the distance between us has caused you to forget what once was  

Or could it be it never truly was at all?  
Have I been cheated again by my own naive, gullible self?  

Now at war myself with my own emotions and thoughts  
Battling resentment and love simultaneously  
Fighting the urge to call you and cuss!  

Cherishing memories
Yet wishing I'd never met you at all  
Savoring the moments I see you in my dreams  
Then hating you when I wake  
Realizing a life with you is never going to be..  

If only I could forget those words "Will you marry me?"!