deepundergroundpoetry.com
Queen of the Sun
Throw the sun as far as you can
Queen of everything, of man and the damned
I bet it won't go very far
But I'm sure it's even prettier on the other side of your throne
I watch it fly a couple planets away nonetheless
Coexisting without you
You aren't good enough for them, or yourself
So,
Queen of roses, violets, tulips
Please tidy that dandelion upon your breast
What you have is not neon, but more a sickly maroon
And though your red is your kingsmenship
I will not bid you adieu
For the fireplace is warming, and the sun is still locked
But as for now I will wait, and plan out your plot
Queen of everything, Queen of the none
I have stolen your dandelion, I have stolen your sun,
With my goodbye, you are done
Queen of everything, of man and the damned
I bet it won't go very far
But I'm sure it's even prettier on the other side of your throne
I watch it fly a couple planets away nonetheless
Coexisting without you
You aren't good enough for them, or yourself
So,
Queen of roses, violets, tulips
Please tidy that dandelion upon your breast
What you have is not neon, but more a sickly maroon
And though your red is your kingsmenship
I will not bid you adieu
For the fireplace is warming, and the sun is still locked
But as for now I will wait, and plan out your plot
Queen of everything, Queen of the none
I have stolen your dandelion, I have stolen your sun,
With my goodbye, you are done
Published 22nd Apr 2011
| Edited 16th Oct 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 9
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Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 6:01pm
22nd Apr 2011 11:31pm
<< post removed >>
23rd Apr 2011 4:18am
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 5:37pm
23rd Apr 2011 00:15am
<< post removed >>
23rd Apr 2011 4:19am
23rd Apr 2011 6:11am
This piece seems a bit too far removed from whatever you're writing about, or else I just don't get it; sometimes it's easy to forget to let your readers in on the secret too, and the latent meaning becomes hidden too deeply in imagery and metaphors to be observed. I like how you revert to a quick and dirty rhymed stanza at the end to create a solid ta-dum ending. (typo: "adieu")
23rd Apr 2011 6:17am
This was just a ramble of things I was thinking about today. Mostly based on self-centered people in control of things that aren't so bad themselves. There was a lot of typos, I fixed them. :)
Thanks for the feedback, my good sir.
Thanks for the feedback, my good sir.
23rd Apr 2011 6:25am
Ah. I was kind of wondering if it was sort of along those lines. Now that I know, it's an excellent piece! (Obviously it was before as well, but... oh, you know.)
23rd Apr 2011 6:28am
6th May 2011 4:39am
The piece had enough hints for me to guess it was about a vain person thinking him/her self to be important. It was beautifully cryptic and well-knit at the same time. This seems perfect to me. I read some of your other stuff, but I feel you should really look back and ponder the depth of feeling and vision that you invested in this and how you cleverly knit this together to tell a story. Waiting to read more good stuff from you. I have a hunch you were a bit drugged up when you wrote this by the way haha.