Big Brother To Little Sister On Her Wedding Day

It's my little sisters wedding day,
I'm not sitting in the church pews,
big moments in her life,
I know that I've missed a few

like when she learned to talk, or when she learned to walk,
when she had her first birthday,
when she had her first Christmas
I know I missed this

or when she had her first date
I didnt meet the boy who took her out,
I didnt make sure he knew what being a gentlemen was all about

I wasn't the big brother that looked after her
and kept her safe,
didn't do silly things
like sticking her face in the cake on her birthday

I didn't let her know how she is beautiful, smart, and kind,
I wasn't there to listen to her rant when she needed to unwind

in fact I never got to meet her,
she doesn't even know my name,
we don't have inside jokes,
nor do we have a favorite game

because years before she was born,
I didn't get to take my first breathe,
no I didn't get to stay,
I became a piece of medical waste,
I was thrown away,
mom wasn't ready to be a mother,
a long time before she was a wife,
I wonder if you know,
that mom chose to take my life
I was first, before you, my sister, mom conceived me
Never got to meet you, but I love you
I hope you believe me