Forevermore

Your fingers
so delicately trace the faded marks
left on my skin.
Marks that I once made
with razor blades.

Hatred raged within me,
mostly for myself.
Never did I ever think
that anybody else
would ever truly love me.

I lived in my own private hell.
I put up walls, barricaded myself.
I became a prisoner in my own body,
my own shell.
I didn't want to ever come out.

You kiss my neck so gently
where the noose once was.
I can still remember the feeling,
the exquisite horror of realizing
that I didn't die immediately after stepping down.

Nobody would love a girl like me.
A broken, smashed up puzzle that was missing
more than one piece.
No one likes a project and
no one searches for imperfection, really.

I honestly wanted to be alone forever.
I never wanted to love or be loved
because then, I'd have to stay.
I'd have to remain alive for another day.
And at this point, even breathing hurt.

Your words were so different to me.
Never did they sound arrogant or mean,
always gentle, tender and loving.
Softly spoken music to my ears.
Only your soothing words do I hear.

When in your arms, I feel so safe.
For in that place,
I truly know and trust I will be okay.
I can seriously say that you saved me that day.
You showed me that there was so much more to life.
But never would I ever imagine
that six, almost seven years later,
you'd still have such an impact on my life.

I never imagined that I would ever fall asleep in your arms
every night.
So, I suppose it is true;
that even in darkness, it is possible to find light.

And I know that you truly love me because
your fingers
so delicately trace the faded marks
left on my skin.
Marks that I once made
with razor blades.