This is a book I've started..all comments welcome - editing grammar and spelling mistakes are still in.

 

this aint a story book and not even a book..its become a nice past time...a third and first person thing..to write sub and abjectively...or just do something..God ive not used my brain for ages..


any way...

the start i know ive knicked but i cant remember from whom..

The only advice I can give for what may be just a page or a book...this thing that you are reading, is to flick through to the pictures.




Life

Just typing this word has made my hands shake, my eyes have tears and I know if I don't control it I may just have my third ever panic attack. The first one I went blind for three minutes and I was luckily helped in Florence by a good man and friend that whence he was in Caracas and acid was thrown on his face before being mugged, losing his shoes blind and ripping his big toenail off, he knew what to say.


I can only know that it must be the same for everyone, to think of life, and worry. I find myself embarrassed that I can't seem to pull it off as well. Yet I know you are the same. Just better. I am not self deprevating, a word I some how know to use but can't find as fact. I consider myself aware.
It pains to want the world to be the same but some nutter made religion and we a tribal. All of us.

I enjoy the same as you, love as much and care. I just know no fear of death, as a certain amount of us do; perhaps we have never really loved but I won't fall at the wayside trying to find it.

'I'd rather seek the idea I have of love my whole life and find life could not match my dreams, than apply a person I really like to the situation. Hoping love will come for us. And forever wait for this change.'

I find the chemical balance of the brain fascinating, how we can feel so much by using our brain. How we can seek and find escapism, how and why we need to escape. How being in that state is everything utopia could be yet the way back down so scary. I don't blame an alcoholic, nor a drug addict. I envy them. I sure you, if there is a reader to this inanity love the conman phrases I do. As we should have the courage of our conviction. Yet even Einstein said, ' the secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources', which has always made me think two things.

He is either so humble he hides his amazing talent.
He cheats like all of us.

There should be a moral or passage if you are to broach a subject like life. Especially if you are obtuse enough to have it as the first section you write, now you decide to write. So I shall think and write something next.

'They all want to save you'

This is life, there are more friends than foes and at anytime you can change the course of your very existence but more so you will know the power of changing someone elses with the fleeting kindness in passing. We all want applause, recognition. Tho' seek to live as if you wait for a final applause.


Romance and Love

Both are verbs, adjectives and nouns and as thus need to be obtained. Obtained sounds obtuse but if only you did any of the two then there would be derth of those who don't. So love romance as much as you can, fall in love repeatedly as most are looking for a forward step in the honesty of expression and surprise, when the one day you are done with both as tired sharing from within, it could be the day you are offered the gentlest of kindness and a thread will be bonded by mutual in-explination to ever be away from one another and you will be romanced and loved. Romance and love again.



Change

As a great woman wrote in her poem of two characters talking:-
but trying to make a change is dangerous
but change don't come at the end of your pencil.

Don't sweat the small shit but fight. It is a difficult harmony, the parody is; ignorance is bliss. I can't show you your options, but can say you do have them at every turn. I can't tell you it will be easy to do or rewarding, as it may not be you that changes them nor that you change. Self can be the change, you self or mine. Stand up to idiocy – YES but accept nothing does last forever. Go with the flow..hell why not as long as the purpose is pure and true to the human value of beauty. You have every available possibility, and I can swear, it will not burn, freeze, stab, shoot or drown you to listen to it.

Friends

Nobody keeps their enemies close as we aspire to gain like minded and alter minded people to enhance our experience of the existential. We are guided by love and life see faces and feelings and they make us feel whole and real. They offer us all we are in the terms they taught and guide as needing us to build around them in return, over a brew with preferably family guy close.

We miss them and seek for their likes of the similar beauty we seek in man, we know their others will be ours and ours on the same path to understand them, we see together a realm to fathom our time and we rest in each others company by lazy tunes and lazy days.

Through this what time do we to hate and create the opposite?

5. Fear

It is as real as love!

In fact it is a part of the greatest thing you can posess, this boundless insanity of our own insecurity, this emotive quirk of sorts.
Not immediate to future or jobs, home or our own mortality. The real fear for us all, is simply worth.

You may have nothing or everything been dragged or brought up, seek a simple or hectic life, take drugs or abstain sex. We want to quantify our worth to our fellow man and take steps toward an ethereal power we can never ever understand. Survival continues our quest on all levels of worth as we adapt. In fact we have made ourselves scared to be still – we are now harbouring our made fears. We make wreckless societal and world decisions based on the fear of the now and not the fear of our speices future..our children's now. We build fear, and if you can conceptualise the parody of living in your own created fear, you must be godly. As it's ok..

If you are fearful - minimise it but remember it, it is your drive and the reason you would run into the cave, it is a primordial instinct to better you almost test, it is the response you pray for when you ask why.

As it perpetuates the best – love.


6. Knowledge

Seek it – for godsake do this. Even if you are humiliated with an incorrect answer. Be happy to learn in all circumstances as they have just saved you from a latter humbling. Be joyous knowledge is earned, bought, won, discovered, loved, hated, shared, given, stolen, passed, lacked, taught, promised, fantasied, bestowed, misplaced, replaced, destroyed, applied, repeated, forgotten, conceived and actualised.

Propel your kind.

Idea

Perceptions power play.....

You are here because of, from, part of, original, random, engaging, future - idea.
They come and you will know as on the label it says:-

may have interesting sound to hand
if walking, obviously you can realise the fact you realised you aren't walking but you are.
Sitting still (may happen to most)
realising you are staring at a sign post in street or equally staring at the tick shape in the wallpaper
realising you're rubbing ur thumb against finger; then stopping!
Then rubbing you're thumb against finger as it felt nice

And in that moment, you will realise later your heart is in synch with your breathing and mind with soul and feeling your lips – lip on lip and being...you will know, the vision in front was static and that was all you could see. Yet we all know behind us we stopped time and began.j