5 things that bug mi.

1. I hate that I can no longer
wear my Ramones T-shirt
because trendy wannabes
think its a brand
instead of a band
the difference is small
for sure, it's only
one easy 'R'
but that can take
you quite far
you see
the R is for reality
which is what
these people escape
like they're on an
Apollo mission
to the planet fake
they known nothing
of the history of punk
its just noise to them
a reason to fuck and get drunk
and now I'm sounding like an old fogey
crusted, green with jealousy like a bogey
but ah'm no
ah juist think if ye
wear that t-shirt thirs a few things ye should know.
I'll question them if they can name
a song other than 'Blitzkreig bop'
if they cannae they lose the right
to wear that top
this is madness,
mass ignorance
it has to stop.

2. I hate that "obey"
is a clothing range
surely wearing a
slogan of authoritarianism
should be considered strange.
We'd never wear a t-shirt
or hat saying "don't question"
we'd rightly say,
"fuck off"
even
to the suggestion.
So why is this normal,
why is this okay
when the word conceals
the history of world evil
of the world's wars
genocides, cullings and crimes]
right up to present day
Howard Zinn reminded us
wrong was never done by people
being defiant
but always with deference
to being compliant
history's never been made
by getting along, going along
refusing to rock the boat
and welcoming the boot on your throat.
Dissatisfaction leads to discontent
spreading discontent leads to dissent
the history books of heroes are not ones
of obedience
but one of revolt and riot
history is made by rebels
who refused to be quiet
so I say to that
brand
"FUCK THAT
DEFY IT".

3. I'm annoyed by
people who think
it's rude
when I've been farting
no reason to fret
it's just the gas from my
ass
that's departing
it could be oh so much
worse
chums
I could easily be SHARTING
leaving cling ons
on bums
all brown fingers
and thumb.
-don't you hate the thumb
through the toilet paper
like your digit is a dish
and your faecal matter a waiter
and those times when a chunk gets
stuck in your nail
to be saved for later
only to be dropped in
Aunt gladdis' soup
and you didn't expect so much  drama
you only went for a poop
now your serving up poo to gramma!

4. Another thing
people who jump queues
what! were you born in a field!?
were you all raised in zoos!!
I think those miscreants
should be named and shamed
on the tea time news!
I mean what else do we have
to block the street
than rows of people
getting tangled in your feet
I think we need to preserve queues
but be quite discrete
they should never die out
that way lies defeat!
unless of course
we all learn to
be patient and calm
then
FUCK IT
I don't give a damn!

5. no but seriously though
 Why to jesus,
 is there always a hole in my sock?!!!
I think whatever caused it should
be put in the dock!
whatever it is
it's got to go
for Christ sake,
no one needs to see
my big toe!
it's worse when it's your ankle
it collects all the dirt of the day
you get in a right bloody fankle.
I'm embarrassed when it's my baby toe
it looks like an awkward reluctant contestant
on a low budget
game show
all curled up and shy
it just hopes the earth
will swallow it up
and it'll die.
Maybe it's the monster
hiding  in the washing machine
I think I saw it once
or was it a dream
I really can't be sure
maybe it's actually my socks
are cheap
cause I'm poor
being the ones worn out
often the ones I've wore
Nah, I think I preferred
all the answers I gave before!