Bipolar

Ups and downs never stable.
I cry a silent song to my open wounds that will never heal...
Always the victim, I can never win...
Embraced by my childish feelings, my devilish feelings
where is the road to success?
Lost in a world of total instability,
unbalanced ambiguous emotions,
emoting nothing but sadness pain and sorrow.
All my life,
my entire life,
I have longed for the chance to live without
the paralyzing fear of failure that never fails me.
What's my purpose? What is my calling?
Chills rush through my blood,
the same blood that has left me stranded
so many times in loneliness, utter shame and confusion.
Getting ready to embark on yet another
dream to finally make something of my life.
I stand before myself looking for the answers.
Like an open book or a page from a magazine
I think there for I am is not enough...
Bold and careless strikes against my happy, my whole
I am so out of place,
I can not breath.
I quietly take the knife that has been buried deep into my
soul with my bleeding hands so numb and plunge
it in even deeper.
Please can I have the chance to be free
to feel normal?
Punished for being born seems an unfair burden to carry.
I see my reflection fade as I put myself to bed.
Another place in time, another chance to fail...