deepundergroundpoetry.com
death of the one i love
my sanctuary has left me
she took care of me
kept my dad from hitting
me and my mom now she is gone
dead to the world and dead to me
and so now
Sadness envelovelopes me
madness calls me to it's aid
but I had made a mess of myself
for that I must pay
and when i'm all paid up
I shall beg for Mercy
and forgiveness upon my Lord
will he forgive me
or will he let me burn in hell?
she took care of me
kept my dad from hitting
me and my mom now she is gone
dead to the world and dead to me
and so now
Sadness envelovelopes me
madness calls me to it's aid
but I had made a mess of myself
for that I must pay
and when i'm all paid up
I shall beg for Mercy
and forgiveness upon my Lord
will he forgive me
or will he let me burn in hell?
Published 29th Aug 2014
| Edited 5th Sep 2014
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Would be nice if you rearrange this way:
Sadness envelops me,
madness calls me to it's aid
but I have made a mess of myself.
For that I must pay
and when i'm all paid up,
I shall beg for Mercy
and forgiveness from my Lord.
Will he forgive me
or will he let me burn in hell?
I understand you must have downloaded this from a cellphone, but hope you won't mind the slight changes including spelling check and punctuations. Also the opening lines needs some addtional lines to explain farther why you are messed up. Other than that, you're off to a great start.
Welcome to DUP fear...don't let fear control you!
@EngrVV
Sadness envelops me,
madness calls me to it's aid
but I have made a mess of myself.
For that I must pay
and when i'm all paid up,
I shall beg for Mercy
and forgiveness from my Lord.
Will he forgive me
or will he let me burn in hell?
I understand you must have downloaded this from a cellphone, but hope you won't mind the slight changes including spelling check and punctuations. Also the opening lines needs some addtional lines to explain farther why you are messed up. Other than that, you're off to a great start.
Welcome to DUP fear...don't let fear control you!
@EngrVV
5th Sep 2014 7:10pm
6th Sep 2014 7:41am