deepundergroundpoetry.com
Wanna Marry Venus !
God blessed me with my magical wings
And I started to explore my universe
Gazing moon, mercury, venus, mars and jupiter
And finally the mysterious saturn rings
But I choose the venus appearing as radiant star
Mars didn't say a word knowing I will heal the scar
She promised me with lot of passion and dream
She made me burn in sweet fire, I don't wanna scream
Love is a mesmerizing journey between beauty and desire
I heard her with the moon in eyes, hiding fears and sighs
I heard her dreaming with flowers and blue butterflies
Jupiter told me to believe in him, Uranus did even try
Unconditional love, Pluto only said, so below, as above
Lost within, darkness all around, what to search in love
I want to marry venus and ride the sun in the night
But I have nothing and what is left is all I hide
And I started to explore my universe
Gazing moon, mercury, venus, mars and jupiter
And finally the mysterious saturn rings
But I choose the venus appearing as radiant star
Mars didn't say a word knowing I will heal the scar
She promised me with lot of passion and dream
She made me burn in sweet fire, I don't wanna scream
Love is a mesmerizing journey between beauty and desire
I heard her with the moon in eyes, hiding fears and sighs
I heard her dreaming with flowers and blue butterflies
Jupiter told me to believe in him, Uranus did even try
Unconditional love, Pluto only said, so below, as above
Lost within, darkness all around, what to search in love
I want to marry venus and ride the sun in the night
But I have nothing and what is left is all I hide
Published 29th Aug 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 32
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Aug 2014 1:34pm
I love the way you incorporate the planets and make them living beings in your poem--that's very creative!
"But I choose the venus appearing as radiant star
Mars didn't say a word knowing I will heal the scar
She promised me with lot of passion and dream
She made me burn in sweet fire, I don't wanna scream"
From the above stanza, I suggest that you rearrange the 1st and 2nd lines because I believe you are referring to Venus in the 3rd and 4th lines. Does it make sense?
@EngrVV
"But I choose the venus appearing as radiant star
Mars didn't say a word knowing I will heal the scar
She promised me with lot of passion and dream
She made me burn in sweet fire, I don't wanna scream"
From the above stanza, I suggest that you rearrange the 1st and 2nd lines because I believe you are referring to Venus in the 3rd and 4th lines. Does it make sense?
@EngrVV
